Well, truth be told — he didn’t. He started to but then he got distracted by the chicken going the opposite direction and they decided to spend some quality time together.

My neighbor calls a little while ago and asks “Is Tom home yet?”.
Me: “No, but he’s on his way. What’s up?”.
Neighbor: “You should call him and tell him if he’s not careful, the chicken police will come after him?”
Me: “The what?”.
Neighbor: “The chicken police. There are two chickens nesting in the middle of the road and with all the snow, you can barely see them.”
Me: “Uh, ok. They’re just sitting there?”.
Neighbor: “Yup.”
Me: “For how long?”
Neighbor: “All day.”
Me: “But it’s freezing out.”.
Neighbor: “Which reminds me… what are you guys doing for dinner tomorrow? By morning, we might have some frozen poultry that needs pluckin’.”

Don’t believe me? I’ll explain…

In the late 1870’s, Hawaii had more than it’s fair share of rats. So in 1872, a farmer — without thinking through the consequences — decided to import a few mongoose (4 males and 5 females, to be exact). Not only did the mongoose take care of a few rats, they also eliminated the snakes, lizards, crabs, toads and grubs. Despite warnings from experts, they imported more in 1883 and spread them to the other islands — without thinking through the consequences. The end result: the mongoose will eat just about anything and is more active during the day. So instead of preying on the nocturnal rat, they rid Hawaii of many of its native species and devastated the ecosystem.

Between 1979 and 1982, the U.S. Department of Agriculture introduced the multicolored Asian ladybug to selected areas of the midwest — without thinking through the consequences — to combat a pest problem. The end result: ladybugs won’t stay where you put them. They quickly multiply and migrate across long distances. In the spring and fall, my house is infested with them — it’s not uncommon to vacuum a thousand of these pesky creatures off a bay window on a sunny day.

Here in New Hampshire, we relied on the fisher-cat — without thinking through the consequences — to control the porcupine population. The end result: we still have porcupines, but the fishers have taken quite a liking to birds, small mammals, chickens, small pets, bobcats, coyotes and moose or deer from time to time.

Predators are by their very nature, opportunistic. Why should a fisher spend 30 minutes killing a porcupine when it can easily feast on poultry?

I think we’re going to learn all too late that the same will be true of the public option. Why would employers continue to provide health care benefits for its employees when it will be more cost effective to just pay the fines, forcing people into a so-called option they don’t want and making it much harder for private insurance companies to compete, resulting is higher costs for customers who are lucky enough to keep the insurance they’re happy with?

Our elected representatives have been given warning after warning, yet they’re determined to drive this thing home without thinking of the consequences. If they’re allowed to succeed, I believe this will be the single event that does the most damage to our economic ecosystem in this decade.

I grew up in the South. More often than not, my mother whipped up a batch of biscuits for dinner and she alway managed to time them just perfect so they came straight from the oven onto the plates… where we would immediately pile on the butter as if the boat-load of shortening in them wasn’t quite enough to meet our daily requirement of fat. And for dessert? Another biscuit with butter and strawberry preserves, of course.

I learned from my mother that a meal without bread and butter… well… it usually isn’t worth eating and never, ever as satisfying, and now I’m paying for it. I weigh 110 pounds, don’t have an ounce of fat on me, I have to take medication for high cholesterol and I still can’t give up that daily bread and butter.

But now I know the secret and I’m going to share my seven easy steps to bread heaven:

1. Go buy a bread machine. I have a Zojirushi and absolutely love it.
2. Go buy a copy of Rustic European Breads From Your Bread Machine.
3. Make up a batch of poolish (page 57), pour it in a large-mouth glass jar and put it in a place of honor on your kitchen counter to sit over night.
4. After the poolish has been doing its thing for at least 12-14 hours, dump it back in the bread machine and make up a batch of pain au levain (page 94). Put one cup of dough back in your poolish jar and bake the rest according to the recipe.
5. As soon as you take it out of the oven, cut a nice thick slice and chew off a healthy bite without stopping to butter it — it doesn’t need any. In between bites, pat yourself on the back for making the best darn loaf of bread you’ve ever tasted without a single drop of fat or grain of sugar.
6. Have another slice. It’s like potato chips — you can’t have just one.
7. Repeat steps 4 and 5 daily.

I won’t quote the entire letter — you can read it for yourself at Snopes… but I thought this part speaks volumes:

And just who do you think you are telling the American people not to jump to conclusions and condemn that Muslim major who killed 13 of his fellow soldiers and wounded dozens more. You mean you don’t want us to do what you did when that white cop used force to subdue that black college professor in Massachusetts who was putting up a fight ? You don’t mind offending the police calling them stupid but you don’t want us to offend Muslim fanatics by calling them what they are, terrorists.

Did the media not catch this? Or did they just choose to ignore it?

More to the point, they want us to be well-informed.

I’m always amazed at the number of people who are quick to quote some out-of-context news snippet as a complete, unadulterated truth… placing 100% faith in their favorite news source without ever questioning whether they’re getting complete and unbiased information.

If you point your browser to Fox News Tools, you’ll be able to download a desktop video player for Fox News Live. In addition to a live feed for Fox News Radio, there are other live video feeds for important happenings like the commissioning ceremony for the USS New York and the floor proceedings for the health care debates that have been going on for most of the day.

These feeds are not limited to what Fox News wants you to see… they’re live feeds from some video camera that simply streams what’s going on straight to your computer without commentator interruptions. To use a cliche for which Fox is often criticized, I’d call that pretty fair and balanced.

So now you have a choice. You can continue to be ignorant and refuse to watch just because it’s big, bad Fox News who’s only goal is to undermine the Obama administration or you can grow up and start acting like a responsible adult by reaching out to get the information you need to make better informed decisions.

Ok… more like the Burb Slicker.

The first thing you need to understand is that we live at the end of a dirt road in a tiny New Hampshire town surrounded by acres of ponds, woods and fields. Mice are a fact of life. They’ve trashed our phone wires, destroyed everything in the attic that wasn’t sealed, leave droppings and seeds in every corner and basically wreak havoc on the walls, siding and crawl spaces. But, they’re like family — they’re just sort of there and you take them for granted, like your eccentric aunt or mad, mad uncle.

So now we have a dear family member staying with us for a while whom we’ll just call T. T is from the burbs and he’s on a mission. He’s helping us clean out the garage and attic, and seems to be a little overwhelmed by our, uh… unwavering supply of critters. So yesterday, he hit Edmund’s and stocked up on mouse traps — nothing fancy — just the normal wood things with the little copper-colored trigger. Then he hit the Harvester Market and stocked up on peanut butter (yes, peanut butter… catches way more mice than cheese or any other treat).

Last night, T says with a grin “I have to go set my traps“. Tonight we go out to dinner and he says with a grin “I caught three“. After we get home, he says with a grin “I have to go set my traps.“.

I have never in my life been so grateful… for the long overdue cleaning in the garage and attic… for helping keep the outside mice outside (the indoor mice belong to the two cats)… and for the constant chuckle I get from the cartoon in my head — the one where a guy’s setting a few traps and there’s one mouse peering in the window and relaying the trap location to the thousands of mice behind him.

We’ve been there before… liberals have no math skills: If all the stimulus packages created jobs, how come unemployment just climbed to 10.2%?

The verdict is in. I’ve been experimenting with prime rib and rib roasts for four or five years now and can say without a doubt you don’t have to buy prime rib to impress your dinner guests. I’ve started buying boneless Angus select rib roasts at Sam’s Club and they’re absolutely awesome when they’re cooked right. Yes, I said select. For those of you who aren’t familiar with meat grades, that’s two whole notches below prime.

For best results, buy a rib roast weighing between two and six pounds with lots of fine marbling.

1. Remove the roast from the refrigerator at least 45-60 minutes before cooking (longer if your refrigerator is near freezing or the roast weighs more than three pounds). The roast doesn’t have to be be room temperature, put putting in the oven when it’s still cold is out of the question.
2. Mix 1/2 to 1 tablespoon fresh coarsely ground black pepper with an equal quantity of Canadian Steak seasoning.
3. Coat the roast on all sides with the seasoning. Note that the Canadian Steak seasoning is very salty, so don’t be too liberal.
4. Stand the roast fat-side up on a rack in a large roasting pan.
5. Preheat the oven to 500°F. Use your oven’s convection setting if it has one.
6. Place the roasting pan in the center of the oven. Roast at 500°F for 15 minutes (2-3 pound roast) or 20 minutes (more than 3 pounds).
7. Decrease temperature to 275°F and continue roasting for a total of 20-25 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 110° (rare) or 115° (medium rare).

Resist the urge to open the oven door. When you check the temperature, quickly remove the roast from the oven, close the oven door to keep the heat in and return the roast to the oven as soon as possible if more cooking time is desired.
Removing the roast from the refrigerator well in advance of cooking time is critical. You won’t be at all happy with the results if the roast is cold when you put it in the oven.
Resist the urge to trim the fat from the roast. You don’t have to eat it, but you should leave it on until the roast is done. If you’re worried about the side effects, remember this: it’s more satisfying to consume a well-prepared cut of meat once a month than it is to consume a poorly prepared one once a day.
There seems to be a general consensus that if you roast to an internal temperature of more than 115°, the meat will be tough. On one occasion, I accidentally left the roast in the oven to 125°. It was well done, but still tender and flavorful.

And the best part? The last time my husband’s brothers came to visit, one of world’s truest beef-eaters said “this is great prime rib”.

According to Wikipedia:

Don’t ask, don’t tell is the common term for the policy about homosexuality in the U.S. military mandated by federal law Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654). Unless one of the exceptions from 10 U.S.C. § 654(b) applies, the policy prohibits anyone who demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because it would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability.

While I’m an advocate for human and constitutional rights, I believe the author of that law was dead on.

When I was in college, I had the misfortune to sit between two openly homosexual males. I don’t mean two guys who just admitted to being gay. I’m talking about two blatantly open gays who felt it necessary to communicate back and forth before and during class about their homosexual activities in graphic detail. Personally, I found it offensive — as offensive as it would have been had it been two heterosexual males or females. But more important, it was distracting… to the point where I decided I’d had enough and left class after explaining to the instructor why I could no longer participate.

If you believe that our military personnel are in danger only during times of conflict or when serving in a war zone, think again. My brother has scars covering 90% of his body from the third degree burns suffered during a training exercise that resulted in a helicopter crash. Members of our Armed Forces are constantly in situations that require total concentration… all day of every day of every year, no matter where they are.

The fact is that homosexuals are a minority and most heterosexuals are uncomfortable when exposed to homosexual content. I’m not saying that’s right, but it’s just the way it is. Congress has as much of a responsibility to protect the members of the military as they do to protect the constitutional rights of all Americans. In this particular case, those two responsibilities are simply incompatible.

In his decision to repeal the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell law, President Obama has unfortunately decided to place the satisfaction of a limited few above the physical safety of the 300 million men and woman who serve in the Armed Forces, Reserves and National Guard. Why is it okay to ban a moment of silence from public schools because it makes people uncomfortable, but not okay to ban behavior that’s the subject of such an emotional debate?

It would have been better to propose amendments to the law to make it clear that homosexuals could be subject to consequences if their public behavior is deemed to be a distraction or danger to their unit.

References:
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

I’ll be honest: I don’t like President Obama. I didn’t vote for him. I don’t agree with his policies and I think he’s bad for America… but I’m going to try to not let that influence how I really feel about him being awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize.

The whole of my remaining realizable estate shall be dealt with in the following way: the capital, invested in safe securities by my executors, shall constitute a fund, the interest on which shall be annually distributed in the form of prizes to those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind. The said interest shall be divided into five equal parts, which shall be apportioned as follows: one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery or invention within the field of physics; one part to the person who shall have made the most important chemical discovery or improvement; one part to the person who shall have made the most important discovery within the domain of physiology or medicine; one part to the person who shall have produced in the field of literature the most outstanding work in an ideal direction; and one part to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses. The prizes for physics and chemistry shall be awarded by the Swedish Academy of Sciences; that for physiology or medical works by the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm; that for literature by the Academy in Stockholm, and that for champions of peace by a committee of five persons to be elected by the Norwegian Storting. It is my express wish that in awarding the prizes no consideration be given to the nationality of the candidates, but that the most worthy shall receive the prize, whether he be Scandinavian or not.

— Excerpt from the last will and testament of Alfred Nobel

The last time I looked, a will was a legally binding document by which a person declares how their estate is supposed to be managed and disposed of upon his death. I suppose it’s possible that Mr. Nobel’s will has been challenged at some point, but I’m going to assume it is currently deemed to be valid since these awards have been given to deserving individuals since 1901.

What I have a problem with is that the NNC has deliberately ignored the guidelines set forth in the will:

… and one part to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.
… in awarding the prizes no consideration be given to the nationality of the candidates, but that the most worthy shall receive the prize…

I’m not aware of anything President Obama has actually done to promote peace. Perhaps what he hasn’t done is better than what the other 204 candidates actually did? Or maybe all of the 205 candidates were being considered because of their hopes and promises instead of recent accomplishments?

That said, I have to give credit where credit is due. Had the Swedish Academy decided to give President Obama the Nobel Prize in Literature, I’d have no issue whatsoever. One only needs to listen to a few of his many speeches to know that our President is quite skilled at spinning a captivating yarn.

References:

Excerpt from the Last Will & Testament of Alfred Nobel
The Norwegian Nobel Committee