So I’m on this flight tonight from Manchester to Philly and about 20 minutes before we land, the guy sitting in front of me whips out his cel and starts sending email and making phone calls. Everybody’s staring at him, but nobody says anything.
So after we got off the plane, I caught up to him and the conversation went like this:
Me: What part of no phones from gate to gate do you not understand?
Him: Do you work for the airlines?
Him: No really, do you work for the airlines?
Me: No. Really.
Him: Well I do.
Me: I don’t really care who you work for — it doesn’t give you the right to break the rules.
Him: I was conducting official business.
Me: That doesn’t give you the right to break the rules, either.
Him: I was coordinating our landing.
Me: Huh? What kind of idiot do you think I am?
Me: I know you’re lying. My husband’s a pilot.
Him: I sign your husband’s paychecks.
Me: Regardless of what you think, you are not that special. What if everyone had whipped out their phones? Don’t you get it?
Him: I am special.
Me: Not only are you a jerk, but you’re way more stupid than you look. My only hope is that the Darwin principal kicks in where you’re concerned.
I was met with a blank stare. I rest my case.
My only regret is not getting security to arrest him — impersonating an FAA official is a federal crime.